called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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