I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
North Korea, Best Korea!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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