just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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