As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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