I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
