Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize