And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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