What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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