i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
