Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
