he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
