He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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