I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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