don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
and you fell through a lawn chair
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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