I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
