The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
