Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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