Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize