She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
