Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
