Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
