Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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