dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize