Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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