My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize