dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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