ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
