Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
