the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I need a burrito and a hug.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
