jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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