I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
