you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My hand turned me down
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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