I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize