You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
