Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
