My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
