dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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