Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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