I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
my liver is dry heaving
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
