We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize