weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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