Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
