Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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