NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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