Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
