Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
