Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize