so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
