Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
