If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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