I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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