thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
