SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
