Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize