I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
