Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
