Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
