garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
