just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you win again, gameday.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
