Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
